Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a must for everyone. Having boundaries gives us a sense of control and empowers us in our relationships. Boundaries set clear expectations for the treatment you will and won’t accept.

Be specific about what you expect and the repercussions of crossing the boundary at work and in your personal life.

You can tell the person: “This is not open to talking about.” Or: “I’m available to meet or talk between 1:00am and 3:00pm.”

In the Muse newsletter I’ve always recommend readers subscribe to a recent topic was oversharing at work. It’s wise to set the boundary of what’s an OK conversation to have with coworkers. Really think about what you should talk about and what to keep private.

Even outside of the workplace setting boundaries is a must. Not everyone wants to talk about their personal life. Nor about any history of illness or other disadvantage. This calls for interacting with the other person on their terms not yours.

The fact is that talking about parts of your or their life over and over can be triggering when reliving the details. The future is today. My sincere hope is that each of us can get to the place where we live for today. Instead of dwelling on the past and feeling miserable.

Should our current circumstances not be ideal either it’s OK to refocus and talk about what gives us joy and do things that give us joy. Save the misery for a therapist session.

In my life I don’t talk about illness either. When I give talks on recovery I focus on my radical ideas for living well and whole. Rarely do I talk in detail about the symptoms and illness. I refer audience members to read my memoir Left of the Dial to find out about this.

In a coming blog carnival I’m going to talk about getting ahead in the current political climate.

Managing Time on the Job

Before I review again the Pomodoro Technique (genius!) I want to write about two methods for managing time on and off our jobs.

First: We can use “time blocking” to schedule into a shared calendar the blocks of time we’re using for specific projects. Listing the type of work we’re doing in each block.

Second: We can use “time boxing” to take time for ourselves. This will also allow us to rein in the time we devote to passion projects. So as to not let this time creep into the time we need for our commitments.

On and off our jobs we can use time blocking and time boxing.

The benefit is that these acts are simple strategies for managing our time.

What often leads to burnout is that we live our lives on (and off!) the jobs in reaction mode instead of being proactive. Everything that comes on our desk at that minute or all the invitations in our private life piling up are seen as emergencies. We think we have to resolve these things immediately when they come crashing into our days at the time we’re doing something else.

Multi-tasking by shifting our focus from one task to another repeatedly has been proven to be an ineffective tactic for getting work done. I remember the interviewer for one job telling me that I would have to be good at multi-tasking. This was decades ago and her crystal ball was broken. No need existed on that job for multi-tasking after all.

Slowing down and focusing is the secret to managing our work projects. If you have ADD or ADHD you might need to read a book about specific ways to develop workarounds for time management that take into account the challenges you have. I will research these kinds of books and get back to followers in here with the titles.

I took a burnout quiz. It showed I had no burnout. It is possible to halt burnout before it starts. In coming blog entries I will talk more about how to do this. I will talk about alleviating pressure on the job too. It’s the stress that leads to burnout. And stress doesn’t have to be inevitable on the job.