Author: Christina Bruni

Christina Bruni is the author of the new book Working Assets: A Career Guide for Peers. She contributed a chapter "Recovery is Within Reach" to Benessere Psicologico: Contemporary Thought on Italian American Mental Health.

Managing Setbacks

My first personal trainer left the gym to open his own boutique fitness center.

I signed up for his e-mail newsletter. In it he wrote that setbacks are to be expected.

On some days you don’t have it in you to go at full speed. Hitting your target goal might not happen.

This is where it’s imperative to remember that a slip-up in the short-term doesn’t matter.

Think in terms of the long view. It’s how you respond to a setback that determines whether you succeed in the end. Not the slip-up itself.

Remember to be critical of the behavior and not of yourself. People who blame themselves for a setback often don’t recover. Blaming yourself is a recipe for remaining stuck.

One thing matters most: having the sense that you have control.

Not allowing yourself to be blown around by the wind like a weather vane.

My mother keeps reminding me that I lost 20 pounds when I was younger. She keeps telling me that I was round and chubby [her word] when I first started taking medication. She refers to the fact that I decided to see a nutritionist. The woman was an M.D. with a private practice in nutrition.

The moral of this story is: you don’t have to accept a setback and give up and do nothing.

Resilience is called for. The ability to bounce back from a setback. Successful New Year’s resolution setters in the Changeology book viewed a slip-up as temporary. They recommitted to changing their behavior.

They viewed the setback as an opportunity to strengthen their commitment. They saw it in a positive light forgave themselves and learned from the experience.

Step 3 Perspire lasts at least 6 weeks. I’ve ended the first 3 weeks of this Step. For 3 weeks in a row I’ve been able to carry out my goal.

In coming weeks I’ll talk about Step 4 – Persevere.

Just remember: a setback isn’t the end of what you can do.

It’s temporary. And should your original goal not work out at all that’s when choosing to do something different can make all the difference.

I like to quote the Ulta advertisement: the Possibilities are Beautiful.

There is no one right road to go down in your life.

I will talk in more detail about resilience in the future.

Step 3 – Perspire

The goal I set was to use my paycheck to buy food and basic needs.

In Step 3 Perspire of the Changeology 90-Day Action Plan you use 4 techniques to carry out your goal:

Rewarding.

You reward yourself for having achieved what you set out to.

To do this I bought myself a Revlon lipstick.

Countering

You do the healthy opposite of the negative behavior.

To do this I have cut down buying extra things.

Controlling the Environment

“Out of sight out of mind” sums up this approach.

When I wanted to stop wearing jeans to my job all the time I took the jeans and placed them in an out-of-the-way storage rack.

Today it’s easier to achieve my current goal because I’m not shopping in stores.

Enlisting Support

You ask people to be part of your support team. They can help you stay on track with your goal.

One of my friends and my therapist I talk with every week.

I have the goal of publishing a book about personal finance. I will write in this blog and in the forthcoming book about setting a financial goal like the one I’m executing now.

Living through the pandemic is the perfect time to cut down on spending.

A lot of us are forced to conserve cash because we lost our jobs. For others we’re at the time in our lives where we’re able to shift our focus to a goal like this.

I will be reporting back in the coming weeks how I’m coming along in Step 3.

My 90-Day Goal

In coming weeks I will return to talking about careers.

For now I want to use this time to explore topics and themes that can serve as the gateway to career success.

Living through the pandemic a lot of us have had to put our big goals on hold.

I would say that to feel productive in a time like this you can engage in a garden-variety self-improvement project.

This is what I’m doing using the Changeology 90-Day Action Plan. To recap each step:

Step 1: Psych

Step; 2: Prep

Step 3: Perspire

Step 4: Persevere

Step 5: Persist.

The goal you set should be S.M.A.R.T: Specific Measurable Attainable Relevant and Time-Specific.

From my own experience I’ve seen it’s better to set goals in a stair-step progression from easier to achieve to harder to obtain.

I’m in Step 3 of my goal. Step 3 lasts at least 6 weeks according to the Changeology book.

I started to execute the new behavior on June 1, 2020 of this month. For the last two weeks I’ve been successful. I will continue with Step 3 through July 2020 of this year.

My plan of publishing the Working Assets book will take longer to come to fruition.

For now I will use this blog as the medium for giving readers information culled from my work as a career services librarian.

In this blog I will show readers what I’ve done to empower you to take action in your own life.

Take what’s helpful and change and modify what I talk about to suit your own needs.

Everything I write has been road-tested by me. There’s nothing controversial about what I’m writing.

The difference is I’m catering to a target market that no one else sees as being a target market to begin with.

I’m giving readers competitive information.

If you ask me engaging in goal-seeking behavior can give your life meaning and purpose during a time like the pandemic.

It’s a great way to feel better about yourself and to feel productive.

Just remember: a big goal might have to be put on hold.

Yet any kind of self-improvement project can benefit a person at any time in their life.

Action Plan

The Black Lives Matter Greater New York has indeed created an Action Plan for everyone to endorse.

You can view it on the Black Lives Matter Greater New York website.

Buried in the action plan that you can download is the reference to giving Americans a Universal Basic Income.

For quotes straight from those in this movement you can log onto their website.

There is also the Color of Change organization website with 1.7 Million members.

Campaign Zero is seeking an end to police brutality.

Alt 92.3 FM radio website has a list of books and resources too.

Ashley’s Pandemic Story

Ashley S. Atlanta Georgia

Living with a mental illness is challenging in itself with the stigma and managing recovery. Since the coronavirus outbreak I watched more of the news broadcast than ever before. This pandemic is nerve wrecking.

When I heard of the news for Georgia residents to shelter in place I did not know what that meant and hoped for life to return to normal. Generally, I am isolated and work from home, while my son is in school during the day.

Accordingly, I set in place another routine. We walked our neighborhood frequently and kept doctor appointments. The coronavirus disrupted our routine but also enhanced bonding time between me and my son.

We walked, played card games, and watched more movies. Sometimes this new norm felt suffocating, but the walks around the neighborhood while keeping therapy appointments helped me maintain wellness.

Kurt’s Pandemic Story

Kurt S. Bronx New York

Next week will mark for me the 3rd month of the pandemic—as far as the many changes I have had to make in my life. I have been extremely fortunate that I either did not get the virus (or if I had it a mild case which only consisted of severe vomiting) and I have been able to work from home 4 days a week.

The 2 major hardships are that I am not allowed to visit my son, who lives in a group home (even though he is only 5 minutes away) and that once a week I still must take the subway (I use a face shield which gives me a pretty good level of comfort).

My mental health has been surprisingly good during this time, I believe most likely because the pandemic has allowed me to appreciate the smaller things in life.

My Pandemic Story

Christina B. Brooklyn NY

I’m learning to be patient with myself when I fail to attend to self-care. I’ll use the exfoliating scrub only 1x per week when the directions state “use 1-2 times per week.”

Sometimes in your life and in recovery you can only do the bare minimum.

For the last 3 months I’ve been mostly staying indoors in my apartment. Going outside I risk running into a bunch of yahoos in my neighborhood that walk around with open faces not covered up.

I treat myself to Petit Pot organic chocolate pudding when I order my weekly groceries.

Every day I record on a weekly To-Do pad the lunches and dinners I’m having to track how well I’m eating.

At the start of the outbreak it was harder because it was winter and gloomy.

It’s gotten better except I have a dial for compassion that can’t be shut off. Watching the memorial service for George Floyd on TV I was heartbroken.

To cope I’ve turned to using my 3 blogs to speak out.

Artists and Authors like I am can use our emotional energy to create words and images that move people to action.

Storytelling

My 82-year old mother told me three weeks ago:

“There is nothing unless there is truth.”

How right-on that statement was. Her fortune telling was eerie in light of the future protests.

We are moving from the age of lies and misinformation to the Age of Truth telling.

If I cannot be honest in the blogs then how will I be able to make a difference?

Bravery is called for. The courage for each of us to speak the truth and tell our stories.

Peers living with mental health issues should not feel guilty or ashamed for having an illness.

No human being living on earth should live in fear of any kind.

This goes for fearing what people think of you. It goes for fearing that you could be killed.

In this blog I’m going to post peer stories and essays.

Individuals speaking their truth is how the needle shifts in society towards love and acceptance.

Telling our stories gives others permission to do the same.

 We’re all together as human beings living on earth.

My first foray into Storytelling will be to post a blog carnival of first-person accounts about living through the pandemic.

Wise Words in a Time of Tragedy

For decades I’ve been taken in with fashion and other magazines as a source of joy inspiration and information.

In fact I’ve learned a life lesson after reading the April 2020 issue of Harper’s Bazaar which can seem like an unlikely font of wisdom.

In the magazine Taylor Swift interviewed Taurus fashion model Gigi Hadid whose candid response illuminates a viable mode of “flying into action.”

I’ll quote Gigi here:

“I’ve realized over time that I feel the most free when I express myself, whether through action, writing, or talking it out.

Being honest always leads to something good, even if it takes a hard or awkward moment or conversation to get there; you can never go wrong with telling someone how you feel and speaking your truth.

And you always learn something from it.”

Isn’t this approach–honesty–the tonic for our time?

Nothing can be changed unless it is faced. An action plan is required.

New York State lawmakers have created a law criminalizing cops that use a choke hold. A cop’s disciplinary records will no longer be sealed from view.

In this case outrage provoked action.

People expressing their feelings through protest had the power to influence those in power to execute changes.

8 Minutes 43 Seconds

That’s how long the three other cops stood by without intervening.

The murder of George Floyd changes everything.

I’m upset like I haven’t been before. The death of Eric Garner in 2014 had set me off like you wouldn’t believe. How foolish to think it wouldn’t happen again.

Police Officer Daniel Pantaleo killed Garner in a choke hold on Bay Street on Staten Island.

The barest crime Eric Garner had committed was selling loose cigarettes.

Pantaleo’s defense attorney claimed Garner’s health–he had a medical condition–caused the death not the choke hold.

This must be why Garner’s murder upset me greatly:

I have a disability that could be used against me when I’m a victim.

Cops who respond on the scene kill people with schizophrenia.

I’m not so foolish to think that living in an affluent neighborhood I wouldn’t be shot dead by cops coming to my house.

This is why I have empathy for victims of police brutality:

It could happen to me. It could happen to any of us.

Racial justice and disability justice are allied movements.

Those of us with disabilities have not been exempt from police brutality.

It’s time to join together with Black Lives Matter to lobby for justice for our comrades.