Category: Disclosure

New Thinking on Disclosure

I might every year come up with fresh insight on the topic of disclosure.

Today I think that the belief that a person living with a mental illness “should” want to disclose publicly to others can do more harm than good.

What if you were in a hospital long-term? Not all of us like Susannah Kaysen can turn our experience into a memoir like Girl, Interrupted with a film that took off from her narrative.

For an ordinary person if you were in a hospital for 5 years I understand that you would likely choose to put that past behind you. Who wants to relive any kind of pain by talking about it over and over?

Given enough time between then and now you could have the necessary distance to view and interpret what happened more objectively. I say at that time you can revisit telling others.

Each of us has the right though to Just Say No to disclosure. It’s our choice. It hit me recently that it’s OK not to tell others.

Only I tell a person after they’ve revealed that their nephew/mother/stepson has schizophrenia. Then again I think it’s because I’m open that it gives those people permission to open up.

The choice is always yours and mine. The catch is this: being overtaken by symptoms and ending up in a hospital is a trauma that no one else seems to have empathy for when it happens to us.

We don’t need to have the anti-psychiatry folk shame us for taking medication if we choose to. A mental illness is a medical condition like any other. Yet when the word mental is added before the word illness others think they have free reign to label psychiatry a sham medical profession.

The Mad crowd is quick to advise you and me not to take medication. They think we should then accept what can become a life of permanent illness. Funny how those critics don’t tell us to let our cancer progress without getting chemo or radiation.

I rest my case in a society where those of us who are open and honest face this kind of censure.

I’m all for telling your story only if you want to. Even my literary agent a decade ago told me it’s not my place to tell anyone else to either take medication or not take it.

What I do say to audience members in talks I give is at I’ve been symptom-free and in remission for over 30 years because I’m in treatment.

Who would want to take medication if we didn’t have to? The illness might not be cured however it can be healed.

I’ll end here by saying that we should honor each other’s pain and accord dignity to all individuals whose brains have malfunctioned through no fault of that person’s own.

The science is credible that mental illnesses are real medical conditions. Until the day when others see this light those of us who choose to take medication won’t get a fair shake.

Why shake up our lives and our mental health doing battle with Mad in America combatives?

Think about what I’ve written here and decide for yourself what you want to do. Click on the Disclosure category to the right of the blog to read what I’ve written about the topic before.

Disclosure Revisited

I’m thinking about disclosure all over again. The quote is: “You can’t be what you can’t see.” This is why I’ve told my story.

I think whether a person discloses and when they do so comes down to this other maxim: “There’s a time and place for everything.”

Historically no treatment providers have offered persons with mental illnesses advice on how to stand up for ourselves and not get taken advantage of.

Individuals diagnosed with a mental health condition ordinarily do not commit crimes. We are at a 23 percent greater risk of being victims of crimes.

More so because some of us often live in dangerous neighborhoods.

The fact that people living with mental illnesses become victims of crime is why I say: not so fast in disclosing your mental health on the job to coworkers.

I realize that a lot of people with this kind of history would like to tell their coworkers and others. If you ask me it would be OK to do so only if you could respond confidently and with a steel backbone should a coworker you tell try to use the information against you to ruin your reputation or interfere with your job performance.

My friend Robin who told a coworker he had schizophrenia in turn had that coworker tell their supervisor. It cost Robin a promotion he was in line for and then didn’t get.

The fact is too that some of us (I and others I know) choose not to talk about illness and symptoms unless it’s with each other.

When I give speaking engagements I begin for only 5 minutes by talking about what happened to me. Beyond that I focus on real-life strategies for coping with living in recovery today. Positive insights that anyone who struggles can use despite their type of mental illness and its severity.

After doing this over 20 years I know that peers want practical advice not feel-good platitudes or fluff like “If you believe it you can be it!”

In the coming blog entry I will talk more in detail about disclosure in light of a book I read last week.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a must for everyone. Having boundaries gives us a sense of control and empowers us in our relationships. Boundaries set clear expectations for the treatment you will and won’t accept.

Be specific about what you expect and the repercussions of crossing the boundary at work and in your personal life.

You can tell the person: “This is not open to talking about.” Or: “I’m available to meet or talk between 1:00am and 3:00pm.”

In the Muse newsletter I’ve always recommend readers subscribe to a recent topic was oversharing at work. It’s wise to set the boundary of what’s an OK conversation to have with coworkers. Really think about what you should talk about and what to keep private.

Even outside of the workplace setting boundaries is a must. Not everyone wants to talk about their personal life. Nor about any history of illness or other disadvantage. This calls for interacting with the other person on their terms not yours.

The fact is that talking about parts of your or their life over and over can be triggering when reliving the details. The future is today. My sincere hope is that each of us can get to the place where we live for today. Instead of dwelling on the past and feeling miserable.

Should our current circumstances not be ideal either it’s OK to refocus and talk about what gives us joy and do things that give us joy. Save the misery for a therapist session.

In my life I don’t talk about illness either. When I give talks on recovery I focus on my radical ideas for living well and whole. Rarely do I talk in detail about the symptoms and illness. I refer audience members to read my memoir Left of the Dial to find out about this.

In a coming blog carnival I’m going to talk about getting ahead in the current political climate.

Booting Stigma

In the December/January issue of Harper’s Bazaar fashion magazine was a feature showcasing jewelry. The models wearing the necklaces were not the traditional runway girls you see in photos. This was interesting to me as their identities were not given.

So beautiful it is to me to think that you can live and love [and laugh!] in society without making your gender the focus of everything you do. For others they want you to know.

The fashion spread got me thinking about how best to fight stigma. Likely there’s no one best method to do this. It depends on the person’s comfort level. In a coming blog entry I’ll talk about my stance in more detail.

In fact I’m no fan of working in a cubicle in a corporate office after my failed first insurance field career. My friend Robin had schizophrenia and rose up to be the CEO of a corporation. So I could not tell you flat-out to rule out an office job.

What I can say is that I think it’s still dice-y to disclose when you work in a business setting. This is up to you. It’s your choice wherever you work.

The link to the fashion article in Harper’s Bazaar is this: I dream of a day when disclosure isn’t necessary as there’s no stigma anymore. Yet even should this happen we can talk of intent versus impact: in the atmosphere where educating others has become unnecessary:

Hiding in a closet could cause emotional distress even when there’s an outside openness to talking about mental illness. Should the day come when there’s mainstream acceptance everywhere then disclosure would likely be okay.

It’s a question of do as I say not as I do as my recovery is an open secret. Since I’m no fan of tossing out details of your diagnosis to coworkers like candy corn on Halloween.

The issue is that stigma still exists in the hearts and minds of people interacting with a person who has a mental illness.

I and you and others might be on the lucky end of the luck of the draw: recovered and doing well. On the opposite side there are those of us who have “disclosed” simply because we’re acting bizarre out in public.

In the coming blog entry I will talk in detail about this as the fact is it’s a stereotype at work when it comes to stigma.

We each of us should be having compassion for others who are not doing well. We’re not in opposing camps.

In this holiday season gratitude is call for. And empathy along with eggnog.

Disclosure Revisited

I get via email the IncludeNYC newsletters about disability advocacy topics. One article that I read a woman with a disability wrote about disclosure. Specifically about telling a hiring manager in a job interview that you have a disability.

The writer thought that a person should disclose to the HR or other person interviewing them. The woman’s contention was that nothing in society will change if we can’t be and aren’t upfront about our medical condition.

In Working Assets the target market readers were peers with mental illnesses. I gave careful measured consideration to disclosure on the job in the Requesting a Reasonable Accommodation chapter.

I still think it’s dicey to tell an interviewer that you have bipolar or schizophrenia. Stereotypes exist of individuals like us. It’s game over if you respond to the hiring manager’s questions using neologisms or talking in a word salad.

The third week in October is Invisible Disabilities Week. Some people living with schizophrenia appear off. Other you can’t detect we have a broken brain.

My story is an open secret with coworkers who are friends. It would likely be a different story if I were muttering to the voices in my head in the stacks of books at the library.

Disclosure is supposed to be a win-win for individuals with disabilities. Only the fact is apart from mental illnesses a significant number of bosses and coworkers question the work ethic and abilities of a person who has any kind of disability (per a different IncludeNYC article).

Read again in this blog my entry on the 2018 Accenture study. It proved with statistics that companies that employed people with disabilities saw their sales and net income skyrocket.

I don’t live in hiding. It’s your choice if you disclose and it’s your choice who you disclose to and when and how and what you say.

I’ll end here by quoting a woman interviewed in the book True Style is What’s Underneath:
The Self-Acceptance Revolution. In reviewing this guide I urge you to buy the book. Just the beautiful rainbow of individuals in the photos should prove the point that whoever you are and however you look and whatever your orientation to life there should be a job out there for you.

Per Cathy Cooper Artist and Maker of Stuff in Los Angeles:

“I feel the most beautiful when I can see the truth–the essence of what I am–in the art that I’ve made.”

Making art and expressing ourselves–even if we’re not Artists–is likely scary. Risking becoming vulnerable by being open and honest is not easy.

Our illnesses do not define us. They are not our identity. Yet they will always be a part of the package we give to others. It should be liberating to tell the truth. My belief–and it showed up decades ago with AIDS patient Advocates–is that secrecy breeds shame.

Breaking free of the internalized stigma about having a mental illness is when our recovery can take off. That’s when the diagnosis no longer has power over us.

There’s something to be said about being loud and proud about having a disability.

Only when it comes to disclosure of bipolar or schizophrenia on a job interview I say: Not so fast.

The choice is yours. I’d like to hear from followers your experience doing this.

Guest Blogger Entry on Disclosure on the Job

Laurel House a nonprofit operates the Resources to Recover website to give peers information that can help us recover.

On October 6th I had my second Guest Blogger entry published there. I wrote about disclosure on the job in more detail.

This is going to be the last reference to disclosure for a while.

Coming up I will talk about Diversity Equity and Inclusion resources that can benefit peers with mental illnesses who want to find and retain a job and succeed at a job that gives them joy and a livable wage or salary.

Read here: Disclosure on the Job: 3 Persistent Drawbacks – 3 Surprising Benefits.

Advancing Trauma-Informed Career Counseling

In my job helping customers create resumes and conduct job searches I often find myself acting as a therapist. The library patrons have unique life stories they bring to the table. Their experiences impact their employment needs and choices.

Peers with mental illnesses as well as other clients have often experienced trauma in their lives. The job a person has should aid in healing not make us ill.

Especially when we are individuals who have historically have been treated in a subpar way. By the very mental health staff tasked with helping us. If you didn’t think we could recover were you happy to spin your wheels helping us knowing that what you did wouldn’t enable us to recover. Then why did you become shrinks and social workers to begin with?

I’m going to talk in here about the reality of having a mental illness. Not a fan of total honesty this is why I cannot advance a “let-it-all-hang-out” on your lips mentality on the job. Though I write about my experiences I choose carefully what I disclose and when and where.

So–here goes–this could’ve happened to me. Or you. It happens to everyone regardless of our race, creed, gender, socioeconomics, illness or whatever demographic we fit in.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Abuse is not confined to a house or apartment. Our jobs are our living quarters for 8 hours a day. A victim of abuse or trauma could be wary of a coworker taking advantage of them.

Having a mental illness–especially in the early stages of our recovery–can be a trauma. This shouldn’t prevent us from trying to get a job. The last thing we want is to experience a new trauma in the workplace.

Our jobs should not make us ill. Our coworkers and supervisors should not gaslight us. Issues of power and control exist in the workplace. Which is why I say tread carefully with what you tell others.

To begin with individuals with mental illnesses are at a greater risk of being victims of crimes than of committing a crime.

In fact other people with mental health issues are often our abusers. Trust–this has happened.

It’s no easy task finding a company to work for where our coworkers are healing allies not self-interested adversaries.

Pain and trauma are part of everyone’s life. “Everybody Hurts” to quote the 1990s REM song title.

How to transform our pain into creative energy? How to get a job where working there can be an act of healing from illness?

I’m keen to give readers specific strategies for finding these needle-in-a-haystack positions.

The next blog entry here will be a hyperlink to a guest blogger entry that I had published at the Resources to Recover website on October 6. That entry will be my parting shot in focusing on disclosure on the job. After this I will start to talk about DEI initiatives–how Diversity Equity and Inclusion measures can help peers with mental illnesses on the job too.

Acting Vulnerable on the Job

No other expert has talked about risking becoming vulnerable at our jobs. There’s scant research into and advocating for bringing “All of You” into the workplace.

What’s written does point to the economic advantage companies have when employees are treated right and feel like we belong. Hello–where is that business and how can we apply?

My goal is to help peers with mental illnesses find jobs with employers who recognize, accept, value, and celebrate the differentness of every human being.

We should not shy away from using the word differentness. It has nothing to do with not being normal. Not that being normal is such a great prize to begin with.

Our differentness is a competitive advantage.

We are not robots. We are not machines. Though we will break down under the unrealistic pressure to be someone we’re not.

I’m thinking long and hard about the solution to this dilemma. How it hasn’t been okay to cry at the office. Or show other emotion. It’s said that in the workplace forced positivity has been expected.

In the coming blog entry I will talk about how trauma can influence what we do and say at our jobs.

Should we make ourselves vulnerable with coworkers?

On Not Revealing Everything

In my just-published book Working Assets: A Career Guide for Peers I wrote what I did from the perspective of an individual who has been employed at jobs for over 30 years.

Quite frankly coworkers don’t always want to hear about everything that’s going on in your life. A simple confession like: “I forgot to use deodorant this morning. I must get some at the drugstore now” doesn’t need to be brought to life.

IWDs–Individuals With Disabilities–aren’t given a free pass to have anything less than an acceptable demeanor on the job and elsewhere.

The remedy should be to flaunt our identity.

Yet I’m realistic that as persons who have been shut out of employment we have to work twice as hard to get half as far once we’re on the job.

Grateful to be given the job we’re often loyal and dedicated employees who outperform coworkers who don’t have disabilities.

This should give us a halo around our job performance that enables coworkers to view us favorably.

Not so fast. Seeking justice on one job I was denied a promotion.

Being a hard worker doesn’t guarantee you’ll get a stellar performance review and top-notch pay raise either. Something I will talk about in a future blog entry.

The playing field isn’t level. Which is why though on one job I could talk with coworkers about everything I chose not to.

In the coming blog entry I’ll talk about one surprise suggestion I offered in The World of Work chapter in Working Assets.

Bringing Your Identity to the Workplace

I help people create resumes. My BIPOC clients are getting jobs in the fields they went to school for. The tide is turning. It’s the time when real progress is happening.

Telling someone to refer to their race in a cover letter was a risky thing I did. It’s not that I would recommend this for everyone. The person got a job in their field.

In terms of an invisible disability would I be so quick to tell a job hunter to lead right off with this part of their identity in a cover letter?

My real-life work experience informed the perspective with which I wrote Working Assets: A Career Guide for Peers.

Every interaction we have with another person involves selling ourselves. In a cover letter and in a resume and on a job interview and on the job this is no different.

How can we turn whatever challenges we have into “working assets” that help us interact with our coworkers and get our jobs done effectively?

This starts with changing our perception. We can “be the change” we want to see in the workplace.

Daisy Auger-Dominguez published the book Inclusion Revolution. She has had a long career as a DEI officer at different companies. In her book she wrote about how a Latina coworker approached her after a meeting. To say that she was proud because Auger-Dominguez wore a white dress that reflected their Latina heritage.

We should not be afraid to bring our identity into the workplace. How can we do this if having a mental illness is part of our life experience?

There are pros and cons to disclosure that I often touch on. I will publish a guest blog entry on disclosure on the Resources to Recover mental health website expected to post on October 6.

The difference is that I think finding the job that is the right fit comes down to researching the companies that have a track record of putting people before profits.

Though not all public libraries are great places to work I do recommend working in one of the better public library systems for those of us who would not thrive in an office setting.

This comes down to researching your target job environment which I talk about in Working Assets. I’ll detail this further in a coming blog entry.

At one of my jobs coworkers left no topic off the table when gathering to talk about our lives. Finding this kind of atmosphere is possible if you do your due diligence when searching for a job.

Sometimes finding this perfect-for-you job is a “happy accident.”

I know from firsthand experience that I couldn’t thrive in a corporate office job. My friend Robin who had schizophrenia rose up to be the CEO of a company. He disclosed only once, and it backfired on him. He was denied a promotion.

What you reveal and what you conceal on the job I’ll talk in more detail about in the next blog entry.

I say: wear that white dress and hoop earrings if you want.